Birthday fever

When I say fever I don't mean the John Travolta kind of fever...
I mean the 104 degrees, crying and coughing-all-night kind of fever.

Poor Jackson spent his birthday feeling rotten.
We did our best to cheer him up but even zebra striped cake with chocolate butter-cream frosting didn't do the trick. Poor baby.

I love birthdays because they remind me to remember some of the best moments of my life. Jackson's birth was almost magical. I just re-read all about it. Jackson didn't cry until he was five days old and he has continued to be easy going and super snugly. We love him to death.  Now if we can just keep ourselves from spoiling him rotten!

To sleep or not to sleep...the results.

Night one: I put  Jackson down at about 9:50 when he was starting to dose off. He cried for about 10 minutes.  I almost went in three times.  I could have sworn ten minutes was at least half an hour.  Rustin convinced me that he was about to fall asleep.  And he did. Woke up at 3:30 but I was so tired by the time I got up to get him he was back to sleep. Slept until 7.

Night two:  Cried for 5-6 minutes then went to sleep.  Slept all night. (by slept all night I mean he slept until our normal wake up time at just before 7.  I consider 5 or 6 am wake-ups middle of the night...)

Night three: Cried for a couple of minutes and went to sleep. Slept all night.

Jack is still taking three naps a day:  8:30 or 9, 12:30 or 1 and 5 or six.  The middle nap is the longest.  Sometimes he wakes up halfway through and I lay down by him and let him nurse back to sleep.  I don't mind.  I suspect when summer hits and we are out more he won't nap as much.  Things are working well for now so I'm not too worried.

Moral of the story: Letting babies learn to sleep all night alone isn't such a big deal.  It is definitely easier on everyone if we just start with newborns so sleeping alone is familiar but older babies can learn to sleep alone also.   There is something to be said for following a mother's instincts.  I tried letting Jackson go to sleep alone for naps and bedtime when he was about 9 months and he just cried and cried and turned into a whiny clingy baby.  I went back to nursing him to sleep for a couple of months and this time around it was a piece of cake.  He even went to sleep alone and slept all night while we were out of town.

This proves my theory true--everything is a stage.  Nothing lasts forever whether it is good or bad so I need to enjoy the good and not worry about the bad.

To sleep or not to sleep...the plan.

 Here's the plan.  My own version of the Ferber method.

First--limit daytime naps to two times per day: 9 or 9:30 and 1 or 1:30.  It will be hard to keep him up until that 1 pm time but I think it will help with evening.  For now I am going to nurse him and let him sleep in my bed for nap time. I suspect once he starts sleeping longer at night we will get rid of the morning nap.

Second--Jackson has to go to sleep by himself in bed at bedtime. As cute as it is, he can't go to sleep while I am reading to Jenna and Benson (who are currently sharing a room...).  I know from past experience that if he wakes up crying he is disoriented and will cry for hours. To begin with I am just going to put him down drowsy but awake. Either I or Rustin will go in every 15 or 20 minutes so he knows we are still here. We will pick him up to calm him down but we will put him back in his crib to go to sleep my himself.

Third--night time.   I haven't ever had a child wake up at night once he went to sleep by himself at bedtime.  We will see how Jack does. I'm hoping he will just sleep.  If not I guess I will be ordering that Ferber book...

To sleep or not to sleep...

Okay.
I've broken my own rules.
You'd think being a mom of six would make me pretty wise in the raising kids department.
But no.  Apparently I'm a slow learner.

Or maybe I just realize that there just aren't any rules for parenting.  Every child comes with their own rule book. Only they don't actually give you the rule book with the child...

I think if we had only three or even four babies we would probably be patting ourselves on the back for being awesome parents. Six has made us wise. Now we know that we don't know anything.

We started out completely clueless with the twins.  We learned the hard way that babies have to go to sleep alone if they are going to sleep through the night.  They were a year old before we finally put them down awake in their beds to sleep.  They cried 45 minutes the first night, 30 minutes the next and after that just a few minutes of fussing and they were off to dream land.  Why on earth did we wait a year?! we would ask ourselves.

With Austin we learned that it is much easier to start sleep training with an infant.  I would just put him down a few seconds before he drifted off so that the last thing he remembered was being alone in his crib.  If he got really fussy I would just pick him up again until he calmed down and then I would put him down before he was completely asleep. As he got older he would sometimes cry a bit in bed but never for long. He always slept through the night.

Jenna came along when Austin was 3 1/2 and we were totally 'experts' in the baby department.  We started putting her down just before she drifted off to sleep from the beginning and she slept from 10 or 11 to 6am by four weeks and by three months she slept from 6:45pm to 7am every night with a good two hour nap in the afternoon.  She rarely cried and  she was happy and easy going... We patted ourselves on the back.

Then came Benson.  He was Fussy.  That's with a capital F.

That little one could not regulate himself at all.  He  napped in little short unpredictable spurts and woke every two or three hours all night.  I would put him down slightly awake and he would just get more and more agitated until he was screaming.  There was no fussy-winding-down period.  This was a really hard time for me.  We had just moved to Idaho so I really didn't have any good friends.  Jenna and Benson are only 15 months apart and Austin was four or five and still at home.  Dallin and Landon were really struggling with dyslexia in 2nd grade so adding a fussy non-sleeping baby to all of that was the recipe for Depression with a capital D.  It took a year to recover from that state of depression by the way...

At six months I truly reached a desperation state. I had tried putting Benson down alone but when he cried he didn't just kind of fuss, he cried this desperate sad wailing cry.  I just killed me.  I mean physical pain. I couldn't stand it.  I read seven (SEVEN!) books about how to get your child to sleep.  All the big titles.  (Healthy sleep habits Happy child, Babywise, The No Cry Sleep Solution, Solve your child's sleep problems...) I was searching for an easier way.

There isn't an easier way. They all involve some crying.

The Ferber method (Solve your Child's Sleep Problems) is my favorite and most of the books I read are variations of the Ferber method. Read more about the Ferber method here. And I also read a good article here.

How long should a baby sleep? This is a good sleep chart.

Basically there are three parts:
*Have a sleep routine and stick to it.  Include some soothing activities to prepare the baby for sleep.
*Put the baby in bed and leave the room.
*Go back in to comfort the baby in increasing long intervals--five minutes then ten minutes etc.

I had to either continue the path and  let him sleep with me (with me not sleeping), get up with him every couple of hours until he was four or five and could sleep alone or I could follow the method and  let him learn to go to sleep alone.

We chose the latter. He cried through his naps (and would fall asleep later while eating and rocking with me) and he cried 6 or 7 hours (I was always checking on him) when put in bed at night.  It didn't help to go in and comfort him--he would just get more and more upset. I filled his crib with binkis and eventually he would grab a binki and lay down and sleep.

Finally the third night he cried a little less before he went to sleep.  By a week he was taking naps again and crying for an hour or so at bedtime.  By two or three weeks he was taking all his naps in his crib and going to sleep without crying at all.  He never woke up at night again.  He slept through all his toddler years better than any of the other kids and he went back to being the smiley, happy, easy-going kid he is today.

So then Jackson joined the family.

I forgot everything I learned.

I just snuggle him in bed with me for naps and we snack and snooze: eat, sleep, eat some more, sleep some more...  He was sleeping through the night most of the time so I didn't worry about it but the last month or two haven't been great in the sleep department.  I'm tired. When I'm tired I don't get a lot done. I have truly enjoyed this babe but I have been ignoring some important things.  Laundry, budgeting, healthy eating/exercise and really cleaning my house are just a few.

It is time for Jackson to sleep alone so I can get a decent night's sleep and he can learn some self-soothing skills.  I'm working on a plan and I am writing this down to hold myself accountable.

Stop action film

Jackson is a busy baby.  He has been like that since he figured out how to move.  He started walking this last week or so--9 1/2 months. That's just a little later than Dallin's and Landon's walking age.  Of course we thought it was great with Dallin and Landon.  We are wiser this time around and wish we could postpone the inevitable loss of parental control that starts with walking.

But it sure is cute.

Scroll through the pictures to get an idea of what is keeping us entertained pretty much all the time.

Murphy's Law

It will always be true that no matter how many awesome safe toys are available-

This little guy is guaranteed to find...

The one Polly shoe in the box.

boomerang baby

We had a five day weekend. I love having kids home but we were busy with football practices and games the whole time. I was seriously tempted to unplug the phone and turn off the lights and pretend like we were out of town the entire weekend but I was outvoted.

We did get a few rainy days. Somehow I don't mind the rain--it feels like a good excuse to stay home. ( I'm afraid I am a bit of an agoraphobe these days. Or maybe just a bit lazy? Overwhelmed?) It also usually seems like a good excuse to make bread, soup, brownies, cookies, muffins, waffles... Rainy days are super healthy.

Jackson is now SIX months!  He weighs 17.8 pounds and he is one busy baby.  He scoots all over the floor and crawls on occasion when he remembers to uncross his ankles.  He giggles and grabs and eats (this boy LOVES solid food--I've never had one eat so early...) but he also slobbers, chews and 'fusses' to get things he wants.

When he is in a particularly slobbery, chewy, fussy state he becomes boomerang baby.  I send him out with Jenna and he comes back with Benson.  Then I send him out with Benson and he comes back with Dallin.  And then I send him out with Dallin and he comes back with Landon.  You get the picture.

All I can say is it's a good thing he's so darn cute!

Jackson 7 months

At seven months old here's what we have:

18 1/2 pounds
Crawls like crazy
Walks around furniture
Occasionally forgets to hold on to something and stands alone
Loves cream of wheat cereal
Just started going to sleep alone in his crib
Usually sleeps all night but sometimes wakes up at 4:30
Would spend all day nursing with mom. Mom doesn't mind!
Always falls asleep in the car
Has two bottom teeth
Chews on everyone and everything
Jabbers all the time in a very whimsical chatty sort of way (week-a week-a wee-oh)

And of course he is in danger of being completely and utterly spoiled!

My arm amputation.

Over the summer my baby went from this...

To this...

I underestimated how much the kids helped me this summer.  They all went back to school on Tuesday which has left me with a permanent hip attachment.  This babe is certainly cute but I am seriously getting nothing done.

 I have never had one baby.  Not ever.  Jackson is in the stage where is rolls and scoots and wiggles and squirms.  He can move just enough to get himself trapped or stuck everywhere but he's not big enough to get himself out of trouble. I'm not sure how I am going to manage this yet.  Baby Jack is going to have to get used to playing alone a bit or I am in big trouble!

  *For the record I did not touch up those baby blues.  Who knew two brown-eyed parents could have such colorful children?!

Million dollar view

I love moments like this.  Jackson has drifted off to sleep and I know I should go put him in bed but I am distracted by his long wispy eye-lashes. And those soft cheeks.

Then, two seconds later...

His little eyes pop open and he grins at me. And I know I missed my window of opportunity and now he will be awake for awhile. 

He lays quietly for just a second before he starts batting at my phone determined to put it in his mouth.

He snuggles his face in my arm and he smells like baby shampoo mixed with that oh-so-lovely acrid yet slightly sweet smell of baby spit-up.

I am completely enjoying this baby but I think I have reached that point where it is time for me to choose bedtime instead of being held captive by the whims of an infant.  

He has been sleeping through the night for about three months so I haven't really worried about putting him down awake--Rustin or I can usually just hold him until he's asleep without too much trouble.  But, with school starting on Tuesday I think it's time for a more predictable schedule for all of us.

We'll see how it goes.

If at first you don’t succeed…

Watching Jackson lately is like watching a caterpillar hatch from a chrysalis.  It is complete torture not to reach in and help.  That moment when he is just  about all the way over  but his little arm is still stuck underneath?  That is the moment when I can barely stop myself from reaching in.  The only thing that keeps me from intervening is that look of pride mixed with surprise when he does it all alone.


I think the times I spend watching my kids do difficult things alone are my hardest mothering moments.  I am one of those moms who goes through the whole house covering everyone up because I woke up cold.  I always will.  And I will probably always be proof reading papers at 10 pm and combing knots out of Barbie’s hair…


 I have seen the growth and compassion that comes from struggle—learning to read, ride a bike, tie shoes, talk to a new friend—my kids have been through all kinds of painful experiences that have helped them grow and I wouldn't change it.  I love watching them grow in every way but I wouldn't mind if they would slow down a little.

Baby overload.

We have had a newborn for one full month now.  One of these days I am going to write and think about something other than baby.  I don't think it will be any time soon though.  Sorry. I am just getting to the stage where I am {sometimes} glad to have the boys hold Jackson in the other room when they get home from school. I'm tired.  Really tired.  But really happy.

Jackson snuggles.  When he lays on the bed by me he curves himself up on his side and somehow scootches over.  He does it with Rustin too.

I have to say that even though I am exhausted (did I mention I'm tired?) I am really enjoying this little boy.

Is there anything cuter than a yawning baby?

The only thing that comes close is a thumb sucking baby.

My dentist father informed me today that the orthodontic people officially say that pacifiers are better on baby teeth than thumbs.  But I say a self-soothing baby beats all official positions.  That's what braces are for right? He does like a binky.  I guess we'll see how it goes.  I've never had a thumb sucker (but not for lack of trying...).

And last--we think little Jack is going to be blue eyed like his sister and Grandpa Hatch.  She is really more green now (so is Grandpa Hatch actually).  His eyes get lighter every day.  We brown-eyed people think it's awesome to see what the gene pool spits out.  Very fun.

Tomorrow-- pictures from the blessing day last Sunday.  If I get to it...

10 things I've learned...

About babies in my house.

{in no particular order}

1.  Babies are not capable of manipulation. {he's trying to get me to pick him up--whatever.  he doesn't even realize his hands are connected to his body!} I never take crying personally--babies cry if something is uncomfortable not to try to get me to do something.  Toddlers are another story...

2. Don't over feed. {Sorry Dallin and Landon}.  Babies act like they are hungry all the time.  They only need to eat every 2 -3 hours--that means newborns eat, wake and sleep about every three hours.  For some reason knowing this really helps me feel calm.  I don't know why. Newborns like to take a little cat nap in the middle of nursing.  I still count that as the same feeding.

3.  Sometimes it's easier just to nurse them again--even if #2 is true.

4.  If I try to have my babe go to sleep in his own bed--at least for the last few seconds before drifting off--then he will sleep through the night on his own without a lot of crying.  Except for Benson.  He broke the rules.

5.  Even if I don't follow #4 all the time, he will still sleep eventually. Sometimes I'm just too tired to lay him down, pick back up and comfort, lay down again and repeat until the babe is sleeping. See #3.

6. I like the smell of newborn diapers.  I do.

7.   I don't follow #4 often enough.  Jackson doesn't sleep through the night yet {7 weeks...pretty little still}. I kind of like his little warmness next to me. Spoiled.  I know. He does sleep through Dallin practicing his Bari-sax in the same room.  That counts for something.

8.  Dads have a different way of caring for babies.  If I want Rustin to help then I have to let him learn and do it his way.  Otherwise he will  just give the babe back to me all the time.  Learned that through experience.  It helped to work the evening shift (as a nurse) for a few years.

9.  Dads' ways of taking care of babies are actually pretty awesome.

10.  Babies grow up REALLY fast.  I can never take too many pictures or write down enough memories. Or smooch them too much or hold them too much or smell them......

Two!!

It's been two weeks since our new arrival and we are all finally starting to find our new normal.  Jackson is very peaceful.  Of course anyone who could spend 18 hours a day nestled next to his warm, soft, food source wouldn't find much to complain about!

Jacks (or should it be Jax? I can't seem to stick to a name completely yet.  Jack doesn't feel quite right and of course I can't always say Jackson...) is growing like crazy.  He had gained 13 oz. in 8 days at his ten day checkup.  I forget how fast they grow!  We go to bed between 10 and 11:30 and he usually sleeps until about 3:30.  After that we fall back asleep nursing until morning...  I am working on having him go to sleep by himself at bedtime. Trying not to completely spoil this child.  Can you spoil a baby?  I don't think so.

We got to have Grandma and Pa Hatch come visit for a few days.  We wished they could stay for a week.

This is Jackson's preferred sleep position.  We need a grandma full time!

Dallin and Landon are busy with track (Dal set a goal to run two miles a day and so far he has stuck to it!) Landon is kicking pants with shot put. Dal prefers discus. They are also finishing up with AAU basketball.  We will be so glad when that it done!

Rustin is swamped as always with funerals, baptisms, appointments, work and of course--his wife and babe.  We can't wait for spring to hit here in full spring.

Week one with a newborn...

Day one:  If you are ever lucky enough to have a sixth child at the hospital make sure to go with an arsenal of comments like --"we love having a house full of kids!" and "I'm so glad I'm the one with these kids too!" or "we just take it a day at a time."

 Didn't sleep one bit in the hospital.  Jackson spent the night with the nurses who were all nervous about his grunting and choking episodes. We went home a little before our 24 hours were up.

Day two:  Jackson still kind of chokes when he spits up.  He isn't grunting as much as he was in the hospital since he threw up a bunch of mucus but he still makes me nervous enough that I am extremely hyper vigilant.  He hasn't cried even once.  Just kind of grunty.  Not much sleep.

Day three: I've never been so swollen in my life.  My hands and feet are shiny and my face has swollen so my eyes look like I belong to a raccoon family. I'm sure the copious amounts of IV fluids during labor and delivery haven't helped the situation.  Even my jaw is so swollen that I can only touch my front four teeth when I close.  Is my body going to recover from this?

Jack eats pretty regularly every three hours.  He falls asleep quickly so if he acts like he's hungry within 30 minutes or so I feed him on the same side and count it as the same feeding.
Comment of the day comes from Benson.   "Hey mom, are you done milking yet?!"

Day four:  My mom is still coming over every morning and does a couple of loads of laundry and makes me breakfast.  I'm spoiled.  Jackson isn't grunty anymore and I am not nearly so worried about him choking.  Night wasn't too bad last night.

Day five:  I still don't want to leave my room.  Thankfully lots of friends are helping drive the kids to all the activities.  It was Sunday today and I slept the entire three hours with baby Jack.  He cried for the first time today.  Cute little wail.

Day six.  I am starting to feel normal again.  I can finally touch my teeth together.  Jackson is adorable.  He still very rarely cries but I am tired.  I am not nearly as tearful this time around as I have been sometimes.  Though I did almost cry today when I saw a picture of a newborn penguin and its mom...

One week:  I seems like an eternity ago that I was pregnant.  Almost immediately after Jack was born I felt the absence of his movements and his little spirit in my tummy. I found myself wishing I was still pregnant more than once.  I can't believe I would say that.  The difference between this time and the other times is that I know this sweet stage in life will be over in just a heartbeat.  Missing a nap or two is such a temporary state of existence.   I'm enjoying every minute--except the first few seconds when he starts to nurse--yeouch!  As my mother always says--"this too shall pass" whether it is a good time or a bad.

The day we all fell in love.

Jackson Rustin 24 hours old

It is amazing how we women like to talk about labor and delivery.  I think it's actually therapy.  It keeps us from having post-traumatic stress syndrome.  And it is a magical moment we don't want to forget.

We had a baby last Tuesday.  We were able to go to the hospital and have labor induced one week early.  We started a little bit of pitocin and my more-than-ready uterus immediately started contracting every 2-3 minutes.  Not painful, just uncomfortable. 

After a couple of hours Dr. Coleman came in (about 11:00) and declared that it was time to break my water and he kindly and wisely suggested we get an epidural before the watery event. 

The epidural was placed, my water broken and--as usual--intense contractions commenced immediately.  That is when it became very evident that the epidural was working only on the left side of my body.  ugg.  After a good 30 minutes or so the anesthetist came back in to try to fix the problem and discovered that the catheter had pulled itself out. (about 12:00) During the course of the day we figured out that out that the anesthetist had a dental appointment later that afternoon with my dad; so I told him that I was going to call and tell my dad to only get him as numb as he got me.  Unfortunately, there wasn't anything that could be done (short of surgical anesthetic) with the rapid intensity of the contractions/dialation and with the baby positioned against my right side.

By this point contractions were extremely intense and I put Rustin to work trying to keep me comfortable.  (move my leg a little, I need some ice, help me sit up etc.) There is no one more comforting than Rustin.  My mom was there also and she helped a ton.  I'm a lucky girl.

The second epidural was placed to no avail. (about 12:30) The baby was posterior and grating against the nerves in my right side with every contraction, which were every two minutes lasting 60-90 seconds.  My left side was completely numb. I was able to sit up and lean forward on a birthing bar and that was enough to take the pressure off my back.  Rustin and my mom would press a hot blanket against my back during each contraction and things were tolerable.  The effect of the epidural and labor made my blood pressure plummet so I had bags and bags of IV fluids and several doses of stimulants to keep me from passing out. 

Before we knew it it was time to push.  This was the only moment of true tears on my part but my worries were unfounded.  Unlike my previous five deliveries, pushing brought total relief from the pain of contractions.  Jackson flipped over and into position at the last second and three contractions later he was born--at 3:37 p.m.  It turned out that he had the cord wrapped tightly around his neck so he took a little coaxing to get going at first.

All told it took about 7 hours, which is double my other labor and deliveries.  I can't complain though--for a 'not perfect' delivery it wasn't so bad.

Baby Jack continued to have some distress for the first couple of hours after birth so he took a visit to the NICU to have some IV fluids and a little extra monitoring.

Jackson went to the NICU just after Rustin left to round up the kids and get everyone dinner.  No new mother should ever be left alone after giving birth!  I was almost panicked.  I wanted my husband and my kids and my baby.  I felt completely out of sorts.  I was still feeling the effects of all the fluids and stimulants.  I was saved from certain insanity when a good friend (Mitch Moffitt--also our pediatrician...) stopped by and offered to check out the baby and give me some grounding words of encouragement.  Thanks. One of those tender mercies for sure.

Rustin and the kids arrived at about the same time Jackson was brought back to my room.  I felt calm immediately.  The kids couldn't stop smiling and the baby was as sweet and cute as ever.  The kids offered to stay with me and sleep on the floor.  I was tempted to take them up on it.  It's amazing how strong the bonds of family are.  We all felt it.  One of the nurses commented about how the kids were waving goodbye until the elevator door closed.  It is completely different to have a baby with an entire support group of my husband and kids.  When we had Benson the twins were seven.  Today they are almost fourteen.  The difference is immense and so comforting.  I have been promised that my children will be my greatest joy in life and I truly believe it.

A Handsome Hatchling

We have a baby!
Jackson Rustin Hatch
April 5, 2011
8 lbs. 6 oz
21 inches
3:37 pm

Really cute.

This is the first of our kids to be born with no facial swelling, no redness and  hair.  We are all in love. And feel truly blessed.

The day I fell in love...

I have to admit I have been a bit of a whiner this last week or two.

Up until this point I have been able to avoid most of the fun-pregnancy-related things that have afflicted my previous pregnancies. That is until about two weeks ago.  This last few weeks have brought on a wealth of fatigue, heartburn, nausea, swollen feet, stretchy joints, carpal tunnel and sleeplessness...need I go on?

My illogical pregnant mind fears that this might literally go on forever and suddenly a couple of weeks seem like unconquerable years. 

My ideal delivery would include a set induction date ( a week early?) with the anesthesiologist waiting in my hospital room. None of this water-breaking-at-home with a mad frantic dash to the hospital in excruciating pain. (We've done that twice...)  But I fear it is not to be.  

It seems I have the pregnancy version of the Plague. I am a VBAC.  (vaginal birth after cesarean) I have had two normal deliveries since Austin's large, posterior head and a failed forceps attempt forced a surgical delivery more than 11 years ago.  But still there is some increased risk of C-section if we induce labor. But not inducing labor increases the chance (and my worry) that I will have a giant baby and have to repeat the difficult labor that ends in the OR... So I wait and worry.

For some reason it has been hard to remember how much we have wanted and anticipated and looked forward to this little one...

So it was in this state of mind that I went to an ultrasound to check the size of the baby on Friday at 37 1/2 weeks.

Here's what we saw.

Instantly all my worries and complaints vanished.  I mean instantly.  My heart just wanted to burst with love the minute I was his little face. How could I have ever complained about carrying and sustaining the life of this cute little bundle?!

In that room I felt a rush of peace and calmness.  This little (7 lbs. 14 oz. !!) boy is worth any amount of discomfort.  Suddenly waiting a couple of weeks doesn't seem like such a big deal.  Not when I know what is to come.

37 at 37

I never thought I would be 37 weeks pregnant when I turned 37.  Crazy!  I am surprised how much I love the idea of having a baby now.  Back in my younger/wiser days I was sure that I would be the best mom if I have babies in my twenties when my body was healthiest...  While I agree that pregnancy and newborns were probably physically easier in my younger days, I love being a little wiser and more established.  Love it.

And I can not say enough about having older kids around to help out.  They can make dinner for themselves and me if needed.  They can clean their room and do their own homework.  And babysit.  Awesome!

oh baby!

Has it really been a month since I last wrote?  


I have a really good excuse---oh Baby! do I have a good excuse.
or maybe BABY?!


Yep. We are expecting number six in mid- April.

I am just beginning to come out of a serious nausea-induced fog.  (We are talking like--'I just rode the Gravitron at the fair three times in a row' kind of nausea.)
  
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel well enough to actually go scan the ultrasound picture (very cute and in 3-D!) into the computer and post it, but I did make dinner and attend a football game without desperately eating a pile of saltines the whole way through. I am hopeful that I may begin to feel like a normal person most of the day.  And when that day comes I will clean the house.  I promise.


The most frequently asked questions: 

Is this a surprise? 

YES.  But not the way you think.  We were not surprised by the pregnancy (actually waited a good 6 months...).  We were surprised that we wanted another baby.  We were truly content and happy with our five.  Our last two kids are 15 months apart--close enough not to risk the "spoiled youngest child" syndrome--just like we wanted.  


We happily gave away all the baby stuff and clothes.  
Then--what happened?  


It started with a little thought.  It kept ruminating. I specifically remember when we went to the movie theater to see Ice age II (I think) and the mammoths had a little baby girl.  It made me cry in the theater.  Shocking.  I asked Rustin if that movie scene made him want another babe.  He looked at me like I was crazy and didn't even give my question a response. I'm still not sure how it happened.  I mean the wanting of another one not...you know...

Were you missing someone?  Did you think you had another one waiting for you?

Nope.  Really.  We knew this was our choice.  We could have been done with five and that would have been okay.  But the little 'what if' question just kept recurring.  'What would it be like?' 'Would our children and family be happier with another one?'  We didn't know, so we prayed and pondered.  I asked the Lord to show me what it would be like and He did. 


I have come to realize over the last year and a half that life will have trials. No one escapes it.  No matter what your level of spiritual conviction, something will be hard because we are always expected to progress.  Progress is always hard. You don't ever reach a level of "righteousness" that means you don't have trials or temptation or sadness. Righteousness doesn't insulate from growing pains.   I was reminded  that whatever the Lord has in mind really will be the happiest and best life. It took about two years to get to that point of acceptance.  


And then we didn't get pregnant for a long time.  I had just decided that maybe the Lord was saying "thanks for the offer and demonstration of faith but I have other things for you to do that don't involve a baby." 
And then I was sick.
And then I found out I was pregnant.


The kids are thrilled and so are we.  I'm sure I will feel even more excited when I can eat normally again.  


And one of these days I am going to catch up on all of the great end of summer things I have been meaning to write about...