Tuesday, September 21, 2010

oh baby!

Has it really been a month since I last wrote?  

I have a really good excuse---oh Baby! do I have a good excuse.
or maybe BABY?!

Yep. We are expecting number six in mid- April.

I am just beginning to come out of a serious nausea-induced fog.  (We are talking like--'I just rode the Gravitron at the fair three times in a row' kind of nausea.)
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel well enough to actually go scan the ultrasound picture (very cute and in 3-D!) into the computer and post it, but I did make dinner and attend a football game without desperately eating a pile of saltines the whole way through. I am hopeful that I may begin to feel like a normal person most of the day.  And when that day comes I will clean the house.  I promise.

The most frequently asked questions: 

Is this a surprise? 

YES.  But not the way you think.  We were not surprised by the pregnancy (actually waited a good 6 months...).  We were surprised that we wanted another baby.  We were truly content and happy with our five.  Our last two kids are 15 months apart--close enough not to risk the "spoiled youngest child" syndrome--just like we wanted.  

We happily gave away all the baby stuff and clothes.  
Then--what happened?  

It started with a little thought.  It kept ruminating. I specifically remember when we went to the movie theater to see Ice age II (I think) and the mammoths had a little baby girl.  It made me cry in the theater.  Shocking.  I asked Rustin if that movie scene made him want another babe.  He looked at me like I was crazy and didn't even give my question a response. I'm still not sure how it happened.  I mean the wanting of another one know...

Were you missing someone?  Did you think you had another one waiting for you?

Nope.  Really.  We knew this was our choice.  We could have been done with five and that would have been okay.  But the little 'what if' question just kept recurring.  'What would it be like?' 'Would our children and family be happier with another one?'  We didn't know, so we prayed and pondered.  I asked the Lord to show me what it would be like and He did. 

I have come to realize over the last year and a half that life will have trials. No one escapes it.  No matter what your level of spiritual conviction, something will be hard because we are always expected to progress.  Progress is always hard. You don't ever reach a level of "righteousness" that means you don't have trials or temptation or sadness. Righteousness doesn't insulate from growing pains.   I was reminded  that whatever the Lord has in mind really will be the happiest and best life. It took about two years to get to that point of acceptance.  

And then we didn't get pregnant for a long time.  I had just decided that maybe the Lord was saying "thanks for the offer and demonstration of faith but I have other things for you to do that don't involve a baby." 
And then I was sick.
And then I found out I was pregnant.

The kids are thrilled and so are we.  I'm sure I will feel even more excited when I can eat normally again.  

And one of these days I am going to catch up on all of the great end of summer things I have been meaning to write about...