Perspective

This morning I lay on the couch completely avoiding my morning motherly duties.
I have never done this before because getting everyone out the door with all essentials in tow requires my full attention. Though lately the dark skies and cold temperatures have me wishing to stay in bed.
I am having a hard time embracing this new 6:30 am wake up time for the twins. They are too. We say every morning "we need to go to bed earlier don't we?" but then there are just too few minutes of relaxing nothingness in the day so we stay up too late.

But this morning, just for a minute, I felt different. I usually look at our big window and wish for the 100th time that I had the beautiful velvet drapes I have been dreaming about, but this morning I could see the sky. The clouds were moving so fast that I could almost feel my place in the universe. It's a very strange feeling.

The sky this morning was kind of purple and full of threatening clouds. It made me think of heaven. What I will feel like when I get to heaven? Will I say "it was really hard for me down there. I wish I could have done better" or will I say "I am so glad I got to have such a great experience. I wouldn't change a thing!"

I hope I will say that my spirit recognized the beautiful things on earth that were patterned after the world where we used to live.

Benson turns five tomorrow. That is somehow the official 'big boy' age. It is a different stage for us now. Did I enjoy those sweet baby cheeks enough? Did I give hugs in place of frustration enough? They grow up so fast. Much of the kids' toddler years were just plain exhausting for me.
It kind of feels like we are constantly entering new waters. Right now we are adjusting to growing kids and Rustin's overstretched physical, emotional and spiritual schedule. We have a lot of compensating blessings that none of us would trade, but it's still an adjustment.

In all, I guess I have been reminded that everything is a stage. None of it will last whether pleasant or unpleasant. Many have gone before me and have been able to keep their priorities in the right place. My ancestors have handed down a legacy of happiness and obedience. And I think their chance was over before they even knew it. Mine will be too. Today I will read again President Monson's quote on my side bar and smile at my laundry.